Where God Guides, God Provides

Usually waiting for something is worth it. But have you ever waited and waited, to find out that you really didnt need the thing you were waiting for? The thing you wanted most, somehow became average. Sometimes it's like ordering your favorite meal. Then one day, it just doesn't seem so appealing anymore. Maybe you over exaggerated how great it was. Perhaps it really was that great, but then your taste or perspective changed. I know this happens to me with video games. For 6 months i'll salivate over a new video game coming out. I'll read all the reviews, watch trailers and get extremely excited about it. Then when it comes out, i play it for 2 hours and say "meh, it's alright."

My point is that sometimes we chase after things. We sometimes chase after things that aren't really the best for us. We chase and chase, when in actuality it may not be right for us to have. Even though a boat has long sailed away, i kept my eyes on it. I kept dreaming of riding the ocean seas on this boat. I figured if i was stubborn enough, had enough patience, and just tried really hard to catch up to the boat, then maybe i'd get a chance to get on board. God wisely placed strong waves to keep hitting me back. This boat is obviously not something for my best, nor for God's utmost glory. Therefore, i realized i need to submit to God's waves.

Sometimes ill be paddling so hard to get out further out in the ocean, then suddenly a huge wave just swipes me away in the opposite direction. In fact, sometimes waves are so powerful that they take you whether or not you wanted to catch it or not. In this illustration, if the waves represent God's sovereign will; we are to catch these waves and surf in God's Spirit. Never fight or go against God's leading Spirit. Humble yourself and conform your will to His.

Sometimes God doesn't even give you a clear destination, because he wants you to embrace and enjoy the present riding experience. Maybe the point is to find satisfaction in the process. Perhaps this is where the transformation takes place. Trust in His sovereignty, provision, and find communion with Him. Sometimes you'll fall off that wave. And it'll be tempting to start going in your own direction again. However, if God brings another big wave, start paddling to catch it. Where is God guiding today?

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

Death

I just watched a movie called 50/50. It’s about a guy named Adam, who is dealing with cancer. This movie did a great job displaying the relational and emotional dynamics of someone who is possibly facing terminal cancer. Besides his own response to the cancer, it was interesting to see how those around him tried to cope with his situation. His girlfriend was more concerned about how hard it was for her and only pretended to care. She was the most unresponsive character because she didn’t want to deal with any of it and wasn't really there for him in his need. His mother seemed overly concerned and dramatic, which kind of pushed Adam away from even talking to her. His best friend tried to down play the circumstance by having fun and not taking it too seriously. The therapist in the movie seemed to approach Adam’s cancer the best by trying to draw out his thoughts and feelings. She was patient, understanding and reaffirming. Adam seemed indifferent, aloof and apathetic.. He couldn’t believe this was his reality. Adam seemed to withhold his emotions internally because he wasn't quite sure how to express his frustration.

This movie really hit a sensitive spot. Most people don’t like to bring up the topic of death. It can be a sad topic, but that doesn’t mean we should completely ignore the reality of it. This movie did a great job not only showing how much pain and hurt cancer brought to Adam, but also to his family and friends.

I asked my Dad yesterday, “What do you say to someone who has just lost a loved one?” He said, “There really isn’t anything you can say to make things better.” Most people usually give their condolences by saying that their “sorry for their lost.”

Last semester I took a pastoral care and counseling class. Our professor taught us that when someone has just gone through a traumatic experience, sometimes the best thing to do is to just be with them. Support them by mourning and grieving with them. If you didn’t know the person who pasted away, you could ask, “Tell me more about them. What were they like?” This allows one to reflect back on the good memories and qualities instead of the present and future heartache. Death can be a time to cherish and celebrate the life of an individual.

Our professor also taught us how important it is to listen and to reflect the same intensity. In 50/50, no one could reflect the same intensity that he was experiencing. Being able to describe one’s feelings accurate really helps one to feel that their understood. What seemed most helpful about the class was that a counselor’s goal isn’t to just give someone the quick answer fix that you would do in a given situation, but do guide them towards God and allow God to lead them to the right response. Genuine patience, compassion, and concern help one to feel that their situation and feelings are valid.

For the Christian death is seen in a different light.  Yes, death is painful no matter how you see it. Death is the result of our world’s sin. However, the good and great news is that there is not only life through Christ, but there is eternal life with Christ. Death is not the end for the believer. Christ has conquered sin and death on the cross. There is victory, salvation and life in His name. In the completion of God’s kingdom of Heaven, there is no more pain, no more suffering, no more sorrow and no more sin. For the Christian there is peace because whether we live or die we have the assurance that we will be with Him.

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Emotional Break Down!

These past few weeks have seemed so busy that i've been having a hard time slowing down. I've been sleeping at 5-6am. I feel like it's so easy to freak out and worry about stuff. It's been hard to keep centered on Christ. I have this tendency to begin relying on myself and my own strength. That's normally when things go wrong. Lately i've also been getting angry at myself because i suck at making decisions. My recent days have been filled with bad decisions or no decisions. I get mad at myself when i waste time doing nothing productive. I'm an expert at wasting time. I feel like we only have so much time in this life, that we can only really invest ourselves in a few things. I ask myself what are those things? We'll it's easy to answer, "Oh God is most important! durr!" However, has my time and recent lifestyle reflected that?

It's easy to sing songs, "All I want is you Jesus, You're all I need, You're my everything, You're my all in all" and yet throughout the week I can't even remember the last time i sat down just to spend time with my God. Sometimes we hafta stop and ask, "Hey is Jesus really my greatest desire? And if not, what's competing against it?" We're always busy moving around trying to get stuff accomplished, sleeping, or we're plopped down in front of our laptops. Where exactly does Jesus fit into our busy schedules? I'm not saying we need to spend hours and hours a day doing spiritual disciplines, but at the same time do we have any spiritual disciplines going on? My spiritual life has been starving lately and it desperately needs to be nourished.

This week i went to a biola chapel, and worshiping with other believers was quite refreshing. Simple yet deep. As Christians we shouldn't just draw power from God, but we should also draw power, energy, and strength from fellowship with one another.

It can be so easy to put God off sometimes. Most of the time we don't even realize it. Other times it seems like a challenge to open God's Word and to pray. Why!? Shouldn't it be our joy? Shouldn't we be constantly craving this deep intimacy with our God? Isn't His love the most intense burning we've experienced? And yet i still find myself turning to other idols, why! Gosh i hate my sin so much. You know that feeling inside where u feel like your missing something, or maybe your day just feels off? I believe everyday we are in dire need of a spiritual renewal and internal transformation.

When we're tired we choose a cup of coffee over His strengthening Spirit. When we're hungry we choose food over a feast of His Word. When we're depressed we isolate ourselves rather than finding comfort in God. When we're bored we turn the tv on instead of communicating with God. I'm not saying that it's wrong to do those things, however does it ever cross our mind to turn to God for strength instead of some other activity? Shouldn't He be our greatest source of satisfaction? Make the most of every opportunity to serve, love, and worship.

At church i kind of had an emotional break down, cuz sometimes i feel like i really suck at being a leader. It's so much easier being a follower! I usually know when i completely blow a sermon and crash it into the ground. Sometimes i hear myself talking and ask myself "What the heck are you saying Chris! You sound like an idiot!" Then i just keep fumbling my words and just want to curl up into a ball and cry. I learned that instead of gaining self-confidence, i need God-confidence. Instead of relying on my own efforts to prepare and perform things, I need to depend on His Spirit and on others. I am thankful that i am surrounded with people who care enough to encourage me and pray for me when i'm down. So thanks chingus if ur reading this!

One thing that's recently been stressing me out is that both my roommates have a bad case of scabies. So i'm doin my best to stayed locked in my room. I think it's super gross cuz their always itchy and scratching. Then just thinking about it i begin to think i have it and get itchy. God i really don't want to get scabies! ahh! I jus want to go home to hawaii, chill at the beach and then freeze time.

"Be very careful, then, how you live not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is." -Eph 5:15-17

"May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones." 1 Thess. 3:12-13

You're Beautiful